You Scratch My Back, I'll Call You God

Can hardly believe it has been only one week! Feels a lot longer and if you don't believe, come visit. We'll go get some fallafel. Is that even how you spell fallafel?
I realize that a lot of you out there are asking the question: Why the hell are you Israel? Well maybe now is a good time to explain.
The reason I'm in Israel is because of, can you guess, MONEY! Ha, well that's only half of it. (My Gentilian brothers (Gentile=not Jewish) are smiling about that Jewishness of the money comment).
When I went out to California at the end of the summer 08, I had the intentions of carrying out research at UC-San Diego in order to build up a repertoire as a research assistant before applying to UC-Santa Barbara neuroscience program. Hopefully, I'd have a job at night in order to stay alive while I volunteered in the lab. Well I was successful in finding a lab to work at with Professor Jean Townsend and Professor Marissa Westerfield studying the brainwaves of autistic subjects in attention experiments. However, given that I have the WORST TIMING IN THE WORLD, the economy decided to take a turn for the worst. Had I decided to go outside the college bubble and read a newspaper, I might have been able to predict the oncoming collapse of the multi-faceted economic downfall.
Well, I couldn't find a job. I didn't know anyone in California who could've helped me out so I became licensed to repair Windows computers. By word of mouth, I found the occassional client, but people, out of fear, preferred dealing with their broken computers than paying someone to repair them. So I was losing money, but like a small hole in a jug of water, slowly losing. From an economic standpoint, it's amazing I still have money.

So while I was doing research at UC-SD, I met a young rabbi who took me under his wing. At first I was hesitant with meeting him (like I want to hang out with Jews), but slowly I gave into the Jewishness and agreed to learn a little about Judaism. Surprisingly, I know more about Christianity than Judaism and more than most Chrisitans.

Moving on. I met a father and son real estate team that opened my eyes to spirituality. I began reading about the power of G-d and how you can use the energy to serve your desires. Several months ago, I would've rolled my eyes to that comment, but not anymore. The reason I'm here is because I began believing that I'm supposed to do something important and I asked how.

Well the father and son took me under their wing as well and taught me about people, business, and G-d. That was the catalyst for the events that followed.

One weekend I was invited (sorry for the passive action english majors) to a meeting of Jewish minds in LA where I met this incredible individual named Richard Horowitz. He sat me down and said "We NEED to send you to Israel." My immediate response: Ha, no thanks. But I was losing money, no job, nothing tying me down and I didn't take any brain-washing bullshit. In Richard's words, I was the "Perfect candidate."

In a matter of two weeks, I received full scholarship, got rid of my possessions (including a car), my room and closed all business relationships. Before I knew it, I was on a trans-Atlantic flight across the US. But before that, I had an awesome weekend with the boys on Carmelina Ave who really know how to do a send-off.

So here I am. Sitting on a bench in the square, looking at the beautiful Israeli women (apparently they're better in Tel Aviv) and my battery is about to quit on me. In a mere week, my intellect grew exponentially. Love to all those in the US. I will be different when I return, but the best parts of me, the one that brought me to all of you will remain.

Please take care of America for me until I return